It’s been awhile since we last met & finally we meet again. Well, all I can say is that, at least, I didn’t break down. At least I can still live the next day without having that weird feeling I always do after seeing you.

As I took the bus home yesterday, I suddenly thought to myself; “I’m gonna wish you all the best for your future, for whom you’re gonna meet, that person who’s gonna stand by your side for the rest of your life.” I regret that it’s not gonna be me. I’m gonna be happy for you. I really hope I can (:

But when all of this comes true, I’ve made a promise to myself to truly let you go. No more meet ups, no more gatherings, no more updates, no more FB. Sever all contacts. Cause I know, no matter how sincere I am in wishing you well, I can never bring myself to see the happy moments you both will share. Though it’s something I’ve got to accept. Because I love you so, I can’t bring myself to witness all that. I’m sorry.

I looked at the pictures we took. Friends told me how compatible we are. I could see how compatible we are together. I still feel we are somehow fated for each other. But sometimes reality can be kinda harsh. It doesn’t matter how compatible you see yourself with that someone. It doesn’t matter how much you fell in love with each other. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to fight for the person you love. If you aren’t meant to be, it really means you’re not meant to be.

I’ve got to get this part of life. I guess, slowly I am. Thanks for being a special part of my life before. And thanks for still being somewhere a part of my life still.

But let’s get prepared. When reality and our future starts getting real, we need to stop everything we used to do. Literally everything.

Be safe in Thailand my friend. I wish you well.

I’ll still love you till the very end of time.

Oh darling, why are you so adorable?

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My biggest wish in life:

To travel all over the world. Cause it’s a big big world out there.

(Source: imstillonthelivepart)

You told me the only way to solve the problem is to find the answer to this:

“The only way for you to get over this is, to find yourself. Who you truly are.”

Hey friend, I did that for the past 9 months. I still can’t find the answer. And time is not on my side either. 

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I’m gonna work for my toned stomach as of now, today. Let’s hope my motivation can last me till results show.

(Source: tobesomebodysinspiration)

Of all the times to appear, you appeared when the new year was approaching and gave me the most memorable time of my life. A memorable time that I thought I could never experience other than in my dreams. And because of that, my new year feels like nothing but crap right now.

I deserve it. I deserve it for being stupid, for believing you, for thinking that you’d never treat me that way. You of all people should know how I’m feeling & how I’ve been betrayed. But yet, you still did it.

You know what, I don’t blame you. Like you kept repeating that night; I’m stupid. I’m stupid. I’m stupid for believing a guy who says nothing but sweet-nothings. Yes, I admit. I am stupid. I’m stupid for believing the people I trust. I’m stupid for trusting people I thought I could trust. I’m stupid cause I get swayed by words and actions easily. I don’t blame you. I am stupid.

Just like any other people out there, you were just using me. When you are bored, when you need me to fulfill your motives you had in mind. But bear in mind people, I am more than what you think I am. I am a girl, with a heart, a working brain, and feelings. I am not a trophy or ‘thing’ for you to just show, and take and cast aside when you are bored. Weird thing is, even friends are doing it to me. Why? Is that all you can think about when you think about me? I am more than that, why can’t you people see it? I am more than just a mere walking body. This body has soul. 

I HAVE FEELINGS. I CAN FEEL. 

The only reason why I keep hurting myself by letting you in is because, I trusted you. I believed you when you say you aren’t like that. I believed your sincerity. And I believed that you will never treat me the way you’re treating me now.

This is it. Don’t blame me friends, for deciding what I’ve decided to do. I know that I’m gonna lose a whole lot of things with that, but I’m prepared to face the consequences when it comes calling.

Bye friends.

(Source: the-g00d-die-young)

It’s gonna be a brand new year in 2 days’ time. Time flies, oh yeah it does. I really do hope that 2012 will be a brand new beginning for me - new friends, new things, new me. I’ve never had resolutions for my past 20 years, and weirdly though, I’m bent on having resolutions this year. I’m turning 21 in 2 months’ time and I guess I need to make a positive change in my life for the brand new year. 

I’ll throw away all the baggage I’ve been lugging with me for the past 9 months and I hope I’ll be able to start anew. I want new friends, I want a stable job, I want to improve my family’s situation. Apart from that, if god willing, I want to continue my studies. To get my degree, and be a degree-holder in a few years’ time.

So this is it people. A brand new year. A brand new change. A brand new me. 

Resolutions:

1. Start gaining some fats (:

2. Start hitting the gym for that abs on my stomach

3. Change myself & open up to people/things around me

My hope for 2012:

1. To get myself a stable-income job

2. Get new-trusted friends

3. Travel to places

And to all my friends out there, Let’s usher in 2012 with some fun!! 

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Will you take me away with you when you fly through the skies to see the beautiful world out there?

(Source: stop-think-change-smile)

I know that being honest was probably something hard for you to admit to me. You know something, I don’t mind your past cause I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I never did want to label you or distant myself from you just because of your past. I am glad that you chose to be honest.

But, being honest and repenting are two different issues. You were honest, but I couldn’t sense any guilt or sincerity to change from you at all. I needed time to accept the things you told me. But towards the end of the day, you chose the handle the situation the way you did.

I’m sorry things turned out this ugly. I never meant for it to be this way. I never expected you to say the things you said towards the end.

I don’t deserve that. And I very much don’t deserve you treating me that way.

I truly hope you meant it when you said you are trying your very best to change. 

May Allah guide you along the way. Amin.

Thanks for standing up for me when I was too weak to stand up for myself. I know you’ve been trying to help me & I’m very grateful for that; though things turned out very ugly, I’m still grateful for everything.

You may think that you’re not the brightest, cleverest, well-mannered, and whatsoever things you always describe yourself as, but to me, you’re just that perfect friend I need cause you bring out the best in me.

I love you, sis-from-another-mother (: (a figure of speech)